What Is Home?
What Is Home?
Wheels up...again
I flew home to the west coast this weekend. Orange County to be specific. And, while it is my home it is also the birthplace of a reality television nightmare. One that has often made me question humanity, as well as how close I choose to sleep to the enemy. I ran from this place more than five years ago to hide and lick my wounds, but as all prodigal sons do, I returned.
Home is a strange concept, one that I have meditated upon from a very young age. I am a true believer in being proud of where you come from. If my travels have taught me anything it's that places, like people, are a combination of flawed and beautiful, but most are worthy of one's time, exploration, forgiveness and defense. No place is perfect, but then again, what truly beautiful thing is?
Where I come from is no exception. Still, for every fake breast and botox injection there are infinite grains of sand for me to rest my feet upon. For every strip mall, off ramp and teenage mercedes benz driver there is a kid ditching school in pursuit of that noble, perfect wave. When I left here for Los Angeles I was feeble, injured and shaken. A worn textile with all fraying edges. I had not quit believing in myself all together, but I drifted that direction with alarming regularity.
I say these things because life should be a conversation. I say them because what I choose to project of myself is too often a fraction of my personal truth and it exhausts me. Still, I cannot deny that in losing myself I often learn more about the life I should be living and begin living it. I'd like to think I am in such a moment now. If I didn't drift so freely and occasionally pack without my compass, this home of mine would be useless and my bones, though weary still, would be without direction. We are where we come from. Shame is useless and running is a fools errand. I am a tourist of this planet but on a cellular level I am a Southern Californian, and I am proud. I take my salt air with a pull of medical marijuana and my jammed traffic with an eyeful of faux spanish architecture. There have been countless moments in the past five years I thought I had forgotten who I was. It occurs to me now that I was simply in the process of remembering.
-A
Simply beautiful. I used to frequently check for your blogs, but I fell out of habit. My life feels like it has been spiraling out of control lately, and I've been turning to your music for relief, probably how I wound up here once again. A family friend's 6 year old little girl has been diagnosed with pre-b acute lymphoblastic leukemia, and that is just the beginning. Luckily, I can find a foothold in your lyrics. I am eagerly awaiting the new album.
Wow, what an inspiring message! I would have to say one of the things I love about you is that you never stop fighting and never give up hope,something that everyone in life should realize! I hope you can come back to waterloo Ontario sometime so I can watch another amazing performance! Thanks for coming to us it was one of the best nights I have ever had!
Wow. This is the first blog I have read by you Andy, and I have to say, I rarely get the opportunity to read anything on the web so eloquently written. This is truly beautiful. And so pertinent to my life at this time. Thank you for the wake up call.
So excited to see you this Sunday in Columbus! I know you will put on a fantastic show. See you soon!
As much as it would kill me to see you stop writing music, if you were to take time off to write a book, I'm sure it would phenomenal. It's incredible to see such craftsmanship in a blog, even if it is from a song writer. Honestly, I get so drawn into your writing that it blows my mind.
HELLO neighbor! Welcome Back!
Without enduring hardships, we would be blind to positive experiences. It may take losing yourself to discover who you are and who you want to become, but we're all better for having had the experience. Beautifully written. NJ misses you.
Andrew, your blogs always inspire me and seem to right on my point with events in my life. I thought that at 25, I too would know who I was, and spent the summer trying to remember, but like you said, I guess I have been in the process of remembering. Thank you so much for your amazing music, it keeps me going forward! <3
You are an inspiration to us all, Such a beautiful person from inside out. I could write forever on how amazing and uplifting your words are but Ill stick with simplicity and say your words are a breath of fresh air in this smoke filled city.
This is so beautifully written! My favorite part was:
"If I didn't drift so freely and occasionally pack without my compass, this home of mine would be useless and my bones, though weary still, would be without direction. We are where we come from."
I definitely need to keep that one stored away in my mind and revisit it often.